Friends: a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?

I read this blog from friend. We were best friends when we were 14-15 yrs old. She moved away. We finally reconnected about a year ago. I'm so glad she ended up being a lifetime friend. The blog made me start crying because I had a friend who I thought was a lifetime friend but turned out to be a season friend. After all, we grew up together. Our kids were growing up together. A few years ago, she moved away. We kept in touch for a few months. I even went to visit her. All I know is she doesn't return my phone calls or emails. I don't know what I did. It felt like I wasn't good enough anymore. It really hurt.....to be honest, it still does. I had to let her go. I just want closure to the situation but I doubt I'll ever get it. I wonder if she'll ever know how much she has hurt me. I'm hoping time will let the wounds heal. Here is the blog. Thanks Christie.

"I'm guessing Holly's moving post on breaking up with a friend will strike a chord. There's something about betrayal or abandonment in friendship that often feels harsher than that of a lover. Partly because (and pardon if I sound a wee bitter) we almost expect romantic partners to hurt us or be transient; friends are supposed to be for life. But recently one friend helped me see this loss differently when he passed along wisdom from a spiritual teacher: People are in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
I love thinking about it that way. A "reason" would cover friends who introduce us to new people, activities, or ways of being and then, poof! are somehow out of our lives. "Season" relationships are around anywhere from a few months to several years or even decades; they get into our hearts and shape who we are, then slide, scrape, scramble, or vanish from our day-to-day. Lifetimers are just that--the ones we know till the very end--the guides, anchors, companions, and beloveds who would only miss being at our deathbed if we made it to theirs first.
The tricky thing, of course, is that we don't have the completed screenplay--we can't flip ahead to see if Jane will be there as the credits roll even though she's been around since elementary school. That's what makes friendship risky--and precious, not to put too cheesy a point on it. We just don't know. Yet with the reason/season/lifetime frame, even when someone we thought was a lifer turns out to be a temp, we can see it for what it is--a person who gave us the gift of her or his presence for a time. An appropriate, necessary amount of time that, if all went well at least for a while, changed us, opened our perspective, somehow expanded or even healed our lives. So when we must let them go--whether it's our choice or not--we can do it with a bit of grace and gratitude. You know?
I found this sometime ago and thought about how true this really is. I have been blessed to have met people at certain points at my life for a reason and then they or I move on. It is sad to see friendships go in that regard. But I have been so much more blessed by the ones that have remained in my life! For this I am truly grateful! I know sometimes it is weeks or months since we have talked but that doesn't mean I don't think of you or love you! Because I do!!! Thank you so much friends!!! "

Fall Camping

When we lived in Hopkinsville, we always built fires on the weekends. We missed not doing that here in our neighborhood. This past fall Daniel decided to created a firepit. Of course we never plan anything ahead of time. We bought some concrete landscape blocks that night. In the rain and dark, we tried our best to make the pit. We had a grate that we got from my dad.

The next day we had a campout. We had 2 tents. The kids invited a friend over. It was very cold outside. We had fried catfish, grilled corn, shish kabobs (steak, shrimp, chicken, mushrooms, and squash), and fries for dinner all cooked over the new firepit. The kids finally went to bed. Their friend's dad would NOT leave. Daniel and I told him we were going to go to sleep. We stayed in the tent a little while. He finally left. It was just too cold to sleep outside. Daniel and I abandoned camp and went to our bed. The kids never knew we didn't stay there all night until a few weeks later. We made breakfast over the firepit the next morning (scrambled eggs, pancakes, and toast). They ended up sleeping in the tents the next night too. Daniel even slept outside with them.

The Rise and Fall of Trey's Football "Career"

Trey played for the Cowboys team this year. He was number 85. They lost every game except for the last game. He loved to play and study the game. The coach relied on him to tell the plays to the team as alternated with another kid for almost every play. Trey ended up hurting his wrist badly during a game. We had to rush him to the ER. He wore a hard splint for about a week. Then was down graded to a Velcro type splint for a few weeks. He had a bad sprain and contusion. He was out for the remainder of the season which was only 3 games. The coaches all enjoyed having him on the team. They want him to play next year. I hope he will want to because I think he could be good.

Merry Christmas!

I tried to take a picture of the kids to send out for Christmas cards. I never got around to doing the cards but I thought I could at least post the pictures. Of course, they were being silly. We just got home from church and they really just wanted to go inside and eat lunch.

We put our Christmas tree up the weekend of Thanksgiving. It's always been our tradition to do that. The kids get a new ornament every year that represents something about them. Carlos got a computer ornament. He loves to get on the internet and play Runescape. Trey got a cellphone ornament because he loves to text. Damon got a large jingle bell ornament like the one from Polar Express. Carlos told him Santa wasn't real. He got very upset and started to cry. I felt so bad for him. I told him the Santa is a belief and we all can be Santa's helpers.

They put their own ornaments on the tree every year. They enjoy remembering them. Carlos has one Buzz Lightyear ornament that is supposed to have his picture in it. Every year he asks me if I'm going to put a picture in it for him. I keep telling him I will one day. I still haven't done it. I think it's just a joke at this point. After the tree is decorated, we turn on the fireplace and watch The Polar Express. Daniel loves that movie. Damon really enjoyed going and ringing his jingle bell to see if he could hear it. Of course, he could and I loved that it made him happy again.

We had a great Christmas and enjoyed the family coming over to our house on Christmas Eve. The kids got a 42 inch flat screen TV. It was over the top. It wasn't my choice. We got Trey his own cellphone which was cool. Carlos got an iPod. Damon got a game he had been wanted. They got other smaller gifts as well. Daniel got a solar powered watch from me. I returned the GPS I got from Daniel and got me and iPod touch which I LOVE! A few weeks later I got Daniel one too because he kept using mine.

Carlos turns 14!!

I can't believe Carlos is already 14. Time flies!!! We had cake and presents on his birthday. The weekend before he had a couple of his friends come over. His grandpa ordained him a teacher on November 15 which was my birthday. I'm glad my dad was well enough to come here and do that. It means alot to Carlos and me.

Happy Halloween!!

We always love Halloween. Trey dressed up at Michael Jackson. I don't think he has ever really listened to Michael Jackson's music before he died. I didn't like the person but I did like most of his music. We already had most of the things Trey need to use. We only had to buy a glove and sunglasses. He had downloaded Thriller to his cellphone and would play it as he was trick or treating. A few times he did do the moon walk for people. He was so funny. Damon was a ninja. He loved his sword he got. Of course, it broke in time. Carlos originally said he wasn't going but then decided to go at the last minute. A couple of hours before we went trick or treating, I went to a few stores to find a black ski mask for him. He would be a robber. After all, what kind of costume can we come up with in just a couple of hours.

We went trick or treating for about an hour in our neighborhood. Their friend Anthony Geary went with us. The kids wanted to go to a rich neighborhood close by. They were under some illusion everyone handed out regular size candy bars in that area. We drove over there. I would drive ahead and park the car, walk to meet Daniel and the kids, and drive to the next spot. We were gone at least another 1 1/2 hours. We were so exhausted. The funny thing is that only one house handed out the regular candy bars.

Let the Races Begin

Damon has waited years to have his own Pinewood Derby car to race. He and his dad worked hard on the car. Trey even helped. He wanted it to have 2 white strips down the middle. Unfortunately, the paint job didn't look good so they had to sand it down to paint it again. We used dry rub transfers to decorate it. I think they work the best. It was called the Black Widow. Grandma and Grandpa Manire came to watch the race. He was so happy to see them. We told him before the race not to get too upset if he loses. We told him not to celebrate too much if he wins. I was very proud of him when he shooked another cub scout's hand when Damon won the "heat". I thought that he was very cool to have that much sportsmanship. He kept winning and winning. When the final race came, he was jumping up and down. He was so excited. Unfortunately, he lost the race. He did get upset at first but after a few minutes he was fine. I think he thought he didn't win anything. He won second place in the Wolf division for our pack. It was a very close race. Now, he will go to the District race on March 13. We are all excited. It will be at the mall. I hope he does well.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow....

We had about 6-8 inches of snow yesterday and today. It's the most I've seen in years. The kids played in the snow 3 times yesterday when it was probably only 4-5 inches. This afternoon we played again. I slip and fell on the porch as I was trying to throw a snowball at Carlos. Of course, we all laughed. Poor Damon kept getting pushed in the snow by Trey. We had a good time. Grandpa Hernandez bought a couple of snow sleds a few days ago for the kids. Unfortunately, they were made for small kids. Trey is so skinny he could still fit in it. The still had fun playing with them. Daniel and the kids went on a long walk in the snow twice. I was having NONE of that. It's too cold and I'm too old. I had hot chocolate ready for them when they came home. We had snow cream tonight (vanilla extract, milk, sugar, and snow). Everyone liked it except Damon. Although we've had fun, I hate being snowed in. All I've done is cooked and eaten. I'm sure I've had to gain 5 pounds these past two days.