Sunday, September 5, 2010

Baby Names

I HATE picking out names with Daniel. He's so picky. I like to have some reason behind a name. I reviewed Daniel's family history and couldn't come up with a name we agreed upon. (If this was a girl, there would not have been any discussion. I've had a girl's name picked out since I was married-Sierra Ann Maria. Maybe one of the boy's will use this name for their girl.)

Despite Daniel and Trey's first choice (Dallas) and Carlos' choices (Eli and Kenny) and Damon's choices (Michael, Mike, Bruce), Daniel and I finally agreed upon a name. He will be called Bryson Daniel. I'm glad he let me use his name for the baby's middle name. Daniel's paternal grandmother would write me a letter every time she found out I was pregnant to ask me to name the baby Daniel Hernandez IV. Daniel never let me do it. Hopefully, she knows now it was never me! She was always so sweet. I'm glad to know she and other ancestors have been watching over Bryson in the spirit world as he prepares to come to earth and join our family. Perhaps one day, we will be seal together for time and eternity to everyone. What a joy it would be!!!

Week 30 update

I went to the doctor on Sept 2. I was 30 weeks and 1 day. This is the FIRST time I actually got to meet a doctor. The other two times was a Nurse Practitioner. The way it works with Vanderbilt is typical for a large facility. Due to the high risk pregnancy, I am in the Materal Fetal Medicine Clinic. If I go into spontaneous labor and it's not during the normal work hours, the MFM doctors won't deliver me anyway. (I'm delivering at Vanderbilt.) If I feel it is an emergency, I will just go the the local ER (Gateway Hospital) and they can speak with the Vanderbilt doctors to determine if I need to be transferred to Nashville or not. Chances are I will be at Vanderbilt. I hate this because it will be more difficult for family and friends to come visit me and the baby. The other hesitation is the drive. If there is no traffic, we can get there in 45 minutes. If there is traffic, I'm afraid I would deliver on the way since this is my fourth child. I'm sure it will all work out though.

The appointment was good. She wants me to see an Opthamologist, Podiatrist, Pediatric Specialists, etc. The Pediatric Specials with do a fetal EKG ultrasound. Apparently, there could be some risks with diabetic patients and the baby's heart. Although they haven't seen anything on all the ultrasounds they've done, they believe it would be best for a specialist to perform this tests.

The doctor's continue to adjust my insulin weekly. As the pregnancy continues, so do my hormones and my insulin tolerance. They say after the baby is born my glucose levels will be more normal.

She measured my stomach. I was measured at 33 weeks instead of 30 weeks. The growth ultrasound shows the baby already at 3 pounds 12 ounces. The previous ultrasound 3 weeks earlier he was only 2 pounds and 8 ounces. They don't know if the baby is a little big due to the diabetes or if the due date is not accurate. Nevertheless, they will not change the due date. If I don't have the baby by my 39th week (Nov 3) they will just induce me.

Strangely enough, I didn't gain ANY weight since the previous appointment 2 weeks earlier. That was the first time that's ever happened. At this point I've gained 25 pounds since February. This is not bad for me. With Carlos I gained 60 pounds, with Trey I gained 80 pounds, and with Damon I gained 40 pounds. Let's hope I don't gain another 20 pounds before I deliver because I really will be topping the scales!!!

Starting at 32 weeks, I will be having 2 appointments each week for non-stress ultrasound test. They test the baby's movement and breathing. I will also have weekly doctor visits. That means I'll be in Nashville ALOT. They are trying to work with a local OB office to do the non-stress tests on Mondays so that I only have to drive to Nashville on Thursdays. Hopefully, it will all work out.

I'm WHAT???

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted. It's very difficult to blog and work and be a mother/wife. This post is something that is a little crazy but I definitely wanted to remember.

Late June, I'm sitting at my desk and start to feel something in my stomach. I thought "This is strange, yet vaguely familiar". I thought it maybe was gas because I didn't want to even think about it being something far worse...yes a baby. I started to pay attention to it for a few days and it didn't go away. So I decided to totally ignore it for a few days as to not make the problem bigger than what it really was. After about 1 1/2 weeks of the problem continuing, I decided to go to Walgreen's after work and get a pregnancy test. I was so anxious that after I bought the test I took it in the store restroom. It turned positive after a few minutes. Still in disbelief, I drove immediately to the nearest walk-in clinic. They thought I'd lost my mind the way I was crying. I showed them the test and explained my stomach thing. They took blood work which wouldn't be tested until the next morning. However, the doctor felt my stomach and said I was probably 4-5 months pregnant. WHAT??? For me, everything had been "normal". Yes I had been nauseous but I thought that was my diabetes as that can cause the same problem. Yes I had gained 15 pounds but I just lost 25 pounds so I though this was my normal weight gain after dieting. No I haven't had my period but I never have my period every month. Basically, my world was crashing down around me.
I had to pull myself together to go home and tell Daniel. I told him to come and meet me in the car so that we could have some privacy. He was worried about why I was crying and where I had been. I told him that I had to tell him something but I couldn't deal with him yelling or cussing as it would have pushed me totally over the edge. He agreed. He couldn't believe it. He kept his word and didn't yell or curse but I knew he was very upset. I told him about the doctor taking the blood test. As typically for Daniel, he thought there was a chance I wasn't pregnant but I knew I was. We waited for the blood test to come back the next morning and sure enough it was positive.
I was a totally wreck at home and work. I had no idea how far along I was but it had to be at least 16 weeks since I felt movement already. I was very concerned for the baby's health because I was taking 18 pills a day for a variety of things-mainly diabetes related. How was my body going to handle this pregnancy with my current health issues and my past medical history of pregnancies? How am I going to take care of this baby as I'm now the breadwinner in the family? How can we afford this child? You can imagine all the thoughts racing through my head. I prayed ALOT for the first several days.
The following Sunday I asked Loren Richards and Eric Bass to give me a priesthood blessing. It was the most spiritual experience. I cried during the whole blessing like a crazy woman. I don't know how Bro Bass was able to continue with the blessing due to my emotions. I know Bro Richards had some tears also. I'm so grateful to these wonderful, worthy priesthood holders for being able to do the Lord's work and provide me comfort and peace in such a distressful time in my life.
The morning it was confirmed about the pregnancy, I had to first get an OB appointment and call my medical doctor. I was able to see my medical doctor within 2 days of the blood test confirmation. When trying to make an OB appointment, they were questioning why I waited so long to see a doctor. My response was, "I just found out 2 hours ago so I'm not quite sure how much of a notice I was supposed to have given." I finally got an appointment for an OB consultation the day after my medical doctor appointment. My medical doctor got an ultrasound done that afternoon to find out how far along I was. I was 21 weeks and 1 day (that was July 1). They even told me I was having a boy. I was still distraught over the whole situation that I didn't care if it was a boy or girl. The OB consultation was not anymore informative. They had to schedule an OB doctor appointment the next week. The OB decided it was be best to transfer me to Vanderbilt for my pregnancy. His words were, "You're an obsetric challenge." That's never something you want to hear.
It took 3 weeks to get into the Vanderbilt clinic. They did another ultrasound and assured me the baby seems to be fine. I was told there would be many appointments during the pregnancy especially starting at 32 weeks.

It took a very long time to adjust to the idea of having another baby. I literally went through the stages of grief-stock/denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally ACCEPTANCE. It took about 6 weeks or so to get the final stage of acceptance. That sounds horrible but it was true. I now know this baby is a true blessing our in our life. Although I still don't know who will take care of the baby while I work or how we can afford him, I have faith that God will take care of us and he knows our needs.

First ultrasound pictures at Gateway Hospital on July 1 when I found out I was 21 weeks and 1 day and it's a BOY!
Second ultrasounds pictures on July 22 when I was 24 weeks and 1 day. These were at Vanderbilt. This is the first time Daniel got to see the baby.



Sunday, January 31, 2010

Friends: a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?

I read this blog from friend. We were best friends when we were 14-15 yrs old. She moved away. We finally reconnected about a year ago. I'm so glad she ended up being a lifetime friend. The blog made me start crying because I had a friend who I thought was a lifetime friend but turned out to be a season friend. After all, we grew up together. Our kids were growing up together. A few years ago, she moved away. We kept in touch for a few months. I even went to visit her. All I know is she doesn't return my phone calls or emails. I don't know what I did. It felt like I wasn't good enough anymore. It really be honest, it still does. I had to let her go. I just want closure to the situation but I doubt I'll ever get it. I wonder if she'll ever know how much she has hurt me. I'm hoping time will let the wounds heal. Here is the blog. Thanks Christie.

"I'm guessing Holly's moving post on breaking up with a friend will strike a chord. There's something about betrayal or abandonment in friendship that often feels harsher than that of a lover. Partly because (and pardon if I sound a wee bitter) we almost expect romantic partners to hurt us or be transient; friends are supposed to be for life. But recently one friend helped me see this loss differently when he passed along wisdom from a spiritual teacher: People are in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
I love thinking about it that way. A "reason" would cover friends who introduce us to new people, activities, or ways of being and then, poof! are somehow out of our lives. "Season" relationships are around anywhere from a few months to several years or even decades; they get into our hearts and shape who we are, then slide, scrape, scramble, or vanish from our day-to-day. Lifetimers are just that--the ones we know till the very end--the guides, anchors, companions, and beloveds who would only miss being at our deathbed if we made it to theirs first.
The tricky thing, of course, is that we don't have the completed screenplay--we can't flip ahead to see if Jane will be there as the credits roll even though she's been around since elementary school. That's what makes friendship risky--and precious, not to put too cheesy a point on it. We just don't know. Yet with the reason/season/lifetime frame, even when someone we thought was a lifer turns out to be a temp, we can see it for what it is--a person who gave us the gift of her or his presence for a time. An appropriate, necessary amount of time that, if all went well at least for a while, changed us, opened our perspective, somehow expanded or even healed our lives. So when we must let them go--whether it's our choice or not--we can do it with a bit of grace and gratitude. You know?
I found this sometime ago and thought about how true this really is. I have been blessed to have met people at certain points at my life for a reason and then they or I move on. It is sad to see friendships go in that regard. But I have been so much more blessed by the ones that have remained in my life! For this I am truly grateful! I know sometimes it is weeks or months since we have talked but that doesn't mean I don't think of you or love you! Because I do!!! Thank you so much friends!!! "

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Fall Camping

When we lived in Hopkinsville, we always built fires on the weekends. We missed not doing that here in our neighborhood. This past fall Daniel decided to created a firepit. Of course we never plan anything ahead of time. We bought some concrete landscape blocks that night. In the rain and dark, we tried our best to make the pit. We had a grate that we got from my dad.

The next day we had a campout. We had 2 tents. The kids invited a friend over. It was very cold outside. We had fried catfish, grilled corn, shish kabobs (steak, shrimp, chicken, mushrooms, and squash), and fries for dinner all cooked over the new firepit. The kids finally went to bed. Their friend's dad would NOT leave. Daniel and I told him we were going to go to sleep. We stayed in the tent a little while. He finally left. It was just too cold to sleep outside. Daniel and I abandoned camp and went to our bed. The kids never knew we didn't stay there all night until a few weeks later. We made breakfast over the firepit the next morning (scrambled eggs, pancakes, and toast). They ended up sleeping in the tents the next night too. Daniel even slept outside with them.

The Rise and Fall of Trey's Football "Career"

Trey played for the Cowboys team this year. He was number 85. They lost every game except for the last game. He loved to play and study the game. The coach relied on him to tell the plays to the team as alternated with another kid for almost every play. Trey ended up hurting his wrist badly during a game. We had to rush him to the ER. He wore a hard splint for about a week. Then was down graded to a Velcro type splint for a few weeks. He had a bad sprain and contusion. He was out for the remainder of the season which was only 3 games. The coaches all enjoyed having him on the team. They want him to play next year. I hope he will want to because I think he could be good.

Merry Christmas!

I tried to take a picture of the kids to send out for Christmas cards. I never got around to doing the cards but I thought I could at least post the pictures. Of course, they were being silly. We just got home from church and they really just wanted to go inside and eat lunch.

We put our Christmas tree up the weekend of Thanksgiving. It's always been our tradition to do that. The kids get a new ornament every year that represents something about them. Carlos got a computer ornament. He loves to get on the internet and play Runescape. Trey got a cellphone ornament because he loves to text. Damon got a large jingle bell ornament like the one from Polar Express. Carlos told him Santa wasn't real. He got very upset and started to cry. I felt so bad for him. I told him the Santa is a belief and we all can be Santa's helpers.

They put their own ornaments on the tree every year. They enjoy remembering them. Carlos has one Buzz Lightyear ornament that is supposed to have his picture in it. Every year he asks me if I'm going to put a picture in it for him. I keep telling him I will one day. I still haven't done it. I think it's just a joke at this point. After the tree is decorated, we turn on the fireplace and watch The Polar Express. Daniel loves that movie. Damon really enjoyed going and ringing his jingle bell to see if he could hear it. Of course, he could and I loved that it made him happy again.

Check Spelling

We had a great Christmas and enjoyed the family coming over to our house on Christmas Eve. The kids got a 42 inch flat screen TV. It was over the top. It wasn't my choice. We got Trey his own cellphone which was cool. Carlos got an iPod. Damon got a game he had been wanted. They got other smaller gifts as well. Daniel got a solar powered watch from me. I returned the GPS I got from Daniel and got me and iPod touch which I LOVE! A few weeks later I got Daniel one too because he kept using mine.